Why giving someone an orgasm is like a GPS

Gabriella Green
2 min readMay 18, 2021

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What I learned in boating school...is…

If someone gives you a destination they’d like to go, all you have to do is use a GPS; it’s gonna tell you the turns, the twists, the speed limit, and everything you need to get to where you’re going. You might already know how to drive a car, but that doesn’t mean you KNOW how to get to every destination on earth.

So if I tell you I’d like to go to Walmart; and you follow the directions to Target and say “well in the past I’ve always gone to Target and people have liked that,” then I’m going to wonder why you’re not just at Target instead of trying to take me somewhere. I have the directions right here, all you have to do is ask.

In addition to asking, you have to prove yourself a safe driver. Someone who listens to traffic signals, obeys limits and laws, wears a seatbelt without complaining, keeps their vehicle clean and well-maintained, and if you’re awesome, has a good playlist. Otherwise, I’m not going to feel safe getting in your car and driving at all.

Once you’ve proven your safety, all you have to do is listen to the soothing voice on the dashboard. Appreciate the bends and loops and curves on the way to your destination. Watch for speed bumps and speed limits. Put the top down and yell-sing if you’re into that.

Hope you enjoy your ride, and the driving as well.

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Gabriella Green
Gabriella Green

Written by Gabriella Green

Actor/Musician/Aspiring Popsicle-Joke Writer. gabriellagreen.net

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